Tag: Missouri

Post Week 11 SEC rankings: No beastiality thanks, but LSU rule

LSU’s band’s commitment to asking Alabama fans to commit beastiality on Mike The Tiger was evident on Saturday night, after the Tigers finally beat Alabama 46-41 in Tuscaloosa. It was a fantastic game. LSU plundered points from Alabama miscues, flying out to a 33-13 lead at half-time, before deciding to play conservatively, helping the Tide to roar back within 6. Then Joe Brady took the microphone back over, the spread offense which has entertained us all season long came back into action, and Clyde Edwards-Helaire’s touchdown in the final breaths of the game virtually confirmed victory. And to make matters better, Justin Jefferson, brother of one of the most hated LSU quarterbacks in history (Jordan), caught the onside kick that sealed

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After Week 9: Still trying to work out the top of the SEC…

Even more annoying than Gary Danielson’s voice, the CBS break-f0r-advert music, and SEC’s non-understanding of the holding law on Saturday was trying to work out – some hours after the dust had settled – who in the hell was the best team in the SEC. LSU’s offense had been stymied by Auburn, but still did enough to win (if Auburn had had any offense, this article might be different). Alabama destroyed Arkansas…….but it was Arkansas. At the bottom, it’s easier. Arkansas is the bum of the division, and might well be one of the worst Power-5 teams in the country (CONFIDENT BET: They would beat Rutgers). I also went 4-1 straight-up this week, only missing out on Missouri’s abysmal performance against

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Week 9 SEC Predictions: LSU vs Auburn…..and the rest

It’s Week 9 of the college football. Sadly. We don’t have a lot of this beautiful season left, but let’s enjoy this year, shall we? After all, there’s still some games to go to. This week’s the one that a lot of people look forward to: LSU and Auburn. It’s not necessarily for the rivalry itself (both teams hate Alabama with vehemence), but for the fact that for some reason there seems to be weird things happening every time the teams play. It’s been a game where we’ve seen incredible ineptitude at field goals (Auburn’s John Vaughn – five of them – in 2005), that saw the firing of a once-beloved coach (Les Miles, 2016), cigar smoking (Auburn players in

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LSU, Alabama battle for the best team in the SEC

LSU and Alabama once are battling it out for the best team in the SEC, and possibly in all of football. The problems for the SEC is that they are both in the SEC West, which means that only one of them will go to Atlanta. And at the moment, it’s hard to work out who’s better. So we went with schedule, rather than beauty. Because if it went with beauty, they would both be at No.1. LSU (7-0): LSU’s offense looked human for a couple of stops against Mississippi State, and got its butt together and put up 36 in an easy victory. Joe Burrow is looking like a bona fide Heisman candidate, and the rush is also looking

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Week 8 Preview: Will we see any upsets this week?

On paper, this is the hangover to last week’s drunken hijinks in the SEC. We saw a big party at LSU, with the booze flowing early doors, College Gameday excitement, and parachutes before the Tigers played the Florida Gators in a bruising evening game match-up. LSU won, and everyone it seems celebrated. In Georgia, the hangovers were quite different, as hundreds of thousands of fans went from outlandish bark to tiny whine as their beloved team lost to the crowing Gamecocks of South Carolina, who left armed with some hedge branches and the biggest upset of the year so far. On the other end of the spectrum, the smell of a steaming turd of a season festers in the nostrils

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Week 7 Rankings: Has Georgia blown its Play-Off chance?

Today was a fun yet weird week for the SEC. The weird stuff happened at Sanford Stadium in Athens, Georgia, where the  No.3 Dawgs lost in double-overtime to a South Carolina side that was a 23-point underdog, but had also lost to Alabama, Missouri and, er, North Carolina. In Baton Rouge, LSU beat Florida 42-28 in an awesome game in the Bayou, with the Bayou Bengals surviving mostly by superior firepower on a night that featured parachutists coming down from heaven, a raucous crowd, College Gameday, and a lack of Gary Danielson. And on the other end of the spectrum, an awful UNLV team ran away from a terrible Vanderbilt side, Tennessee got its first SEC win of the season

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Week 7 Preview: Who’s going to win the LSU-Florida clash?

It’s Week 7 in the SEC, and things are suddenly getting interesting. On Saturday night we’ve got the battle of the unbeatens as Florida travels to LSU. College Gameday will be there. It’s a night game in Death Valley, and thank God, Gary Danielson will not be there. Earlier, Alabama will go to Kyle Field to play Texas A&M on the CBS 3.30 game, and Georgia hosts South Carolina to start the day. Otherwise, it’s Mississippi State going to Tennessee (12pm), the battle of the NCAA-sanctioned as Ole Miss travels to Missouri, and a game that no-one should subject anyone to watch as Arkansas travels to Kentucky. Oh, and UNLV travels to Vanderbilt.   To say the least, it’s cardiac

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Week 6 rankings: Gators chomp, Georgia rolls

Right, so we’ve been plunged into the deep end by Week 6 of the college football season. In the AP’s rankings, Alabama is No.1, followed by Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU and Oklahoma. Florida, Wisconsin, Notre Dame and Penn State fill out your Top 10. Auburn (12th) and Texas A&M (24th) are the other SEC teams on the list. So here are our power rankings for the SEC. This is less about ‘how they look’ and more about ‘who they’ve beaten’. Florida (6-0): Beat Auburn in a monstrously noisy atmosphere in The Swamp. It was like being back in Spurrier’s time again. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty (they turned the ball over 4 times), but the Gators’ defense is amazing. The LSU

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The SEC is a megachurch, a denomination, and a religion

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm. Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose,

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The SEC needs a nine-game conference schedule

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules. The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine. Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.” Kirby Smart of

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