Tag: Cocktail Party

SEC Preview: It’s Cocktail Party time!

It’s that time of year again, when drunk visored dudes in red bark at fans in jean shorts wearing orange and blue at The Landing in Jacksonville. The jorted ones then give ’em the chomping motion, and yell ‘Gator Bait’. The visored one, who’s a 50 year old who has a hairdo like Kirby Smart and sells insurance, then takes a swing at the dude in orange and blue because he thinks the dude’s talking about his daughter. They grapple, and then fall over in the street, rolling in cigarette butts, sweat and probably urine. But the actual Cocktail Party at TIAA Bank Field this year between Georgia and Florida clash isn’t meant to be any sort of fight. It’s

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Georgia Preview 2018: Expect SEC East dominance

The Georgia Bulldogs will absolutely dominate the SEC East. We know this because the SEC East is a mixture of bad teams (Vanderbilt, Tennessee), teams with new coaches (Florida, Tennessee), teams that have an offense that is still trying to find itself (South Carolina), and a high-scoring team that plays no ‘D’ (Missouri). Georgia’s offense has found itself, is a good team, has the same coach, and plays ‘D’. The only problem for Georgia is how its SEC West schedule measures up – the Dawgs will definitely be playing Auburn (home) and LSU (road), and possibly Alabama in the SEC Championship Game. Anyway, here’s your 2018 preview…. OFFENSE Let’s be quite brazen about this: No running back unit is going to

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Florida 2018 Preview: Can Dan Mullen improve Florida?

Trainwreck doesn’t cover just bad Florida’s 2017 season was. There was a bit of a smile when they beat Tennessee on a Hail Mary in one of the plays of the season, but that was it, save for Jim McElwain’s nudist battle with a shark. Dan Mullen arrived to the pomp and circumstance (and some new Jordans), but he’s had to deal with non-stop disciplinary crap – something that must be weighing on Gator Nation. You know, that and the rise and rise of one of their most hated enemies. OFFENSE Every time we think about UF’s offense, we get squeamish. The Gators were 110th in total offense, good enough for the second-worst in the SEC behind Tennessee (the third-worst

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Will Georgia raise a cocktail? Week 9 SEC Preview

It’s Cocktail Party week, when the Georgia and Florida fans descend on Jacksonville and get blind drunk before the 3.30 pm kick-off, and provide an atmosphere that’s OK. During the week before, Florida’s been talking a lot of crap, while the head coach has been telling stories (which might be true) about death threats. If we’re honest, that’s going to be the most interesting game of the week. The ones are a little bit of a struggle. No.3 Georgia (-14) vs Florida: Georgia fans are going to run, run, run the ball down Florida’s throat, and hope that Jake Fromm’s not forced into passing. Despite what people say, UF has a good secondary, and every game that they’ve lost have

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It Just Means More: A Guide to Hating Every SEC Fanbase

The most important thing about the SEC is our passion. In other words: “We love our program, and therefore hate yours.” The hatred between teams is probably encapsulated best either in the Alabama – Auburn rivalry or the four days of carnage known as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party featuring Florida and Georgia, in which there will no doubt be a lot of trash talk and fighting between fans. So in this, we thought we’d give you a guide about what to hate about EVERY team’s fanbase in the SEC. Oh, and we hate CBS’ music, Brad Nessler (he’s from Minnesota) and Gary Danielson (I don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to throw a chair through the TV

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Who wins The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party?

A buddy of ours said on Facebook: “Georgia-Florida is the World’s Largest Cocktail Party, which Florida-Georgia is a crappy country group”. We sniggered, slightly, bearing in mind our memory of that goddawful band  ‘highlighting’ plays on CBS was that how we could have put our foot through our TV whenever we heard them ****ing singing. No.14 Florida vs Georgia If you’re a grad of Florida or Georgia, a student at Florida or Georgia, or a fan of Florida or Georgia, or merely want a fight on The Landing this weekend with a bunch of smashed-up ‘bros’ and their wives who are fighting each other too, you’ll probably be in Jacksonville. And if  you hate your life – because the game’s probably not going

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Why Mark Richt’s firing at Georgia was coming

“I don’t know what the world is coming to in our profession. I think when you win nine games, that’s a pretty good season, and especially with the body of work that he’s been able to put together there for however years he’s been there. …I hate to see people that have the character and quality and ability to affect young people in a positive way like Mark Richt not be a part of our profession.” – Nick Saban. Last Sunday, Georgia released a statement that they had decided to end the career of Mark Richt “by mutual consent”. Richt was gone, and the atmosphere around Athens has been like a funeral. There were some fans who went straight outside the

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Rollin’ Tide – Final SEC Power Rankings

It was quite a week in the SEC. And while it was about the football, it kinda was and it kinda wasn’t. We had Cam Newton threatening to slap the s_(& out of a heckler before the Iron Bowl, Les Miles getting chaired off against Texas A&M after he kept his job despite everyone saying that he was out of one, and Mark Richt getting booted from Georgia despite a 9-3 season. Down South, the Florida Gators were wonderfully inept in a 27-2 home loss to Florida State, and Ole Miss won the BATTLE OF THE EGG in CowbellLand. Elsewhere, Kentucky lost to Louisville after being 21-0 up (and their QB Patrick Towles has said he’s transferring) and Missouri didn’t show

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Will Alabama lose both Smart and Kiffin in 2015?

It’s that time in college football where everyone’s getting hired and everyone’s getting fired, but the big news might well be at the University of Alabama, where the Crimson Tide may well be looking an offensive and defensive co-ordinator when all is said and done. It’s obvious to me and any writer out there that offensive co-ordinator Lane Kiffin won’t want to stay long-time in Tuscaloosa. He’s got a 35-21 head coaching record from his days at Tennessee and Southern California (we can’t call ’em USC on a SEC website), has a great offensive mind and is a fantastic recruiter. He’s also as loyal as an arms dealer. His agent, Jimmy Sexton, is very good at finding spots for his clients, and with

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What’s the crappiest game on a crappy SEC schedule? Week 12 previews

GeIt’s strange to say this, but Ole Miss vs LSU could have been the play-in game for the SEC Championship. Had Ole Miss actually played  in The Swamp (they were destroyed instead) or played Arkansas with any respect in the least (they didn’t), and had LSU had an offensive co-ordinator that wasn’t Cam Cameron, this would have a match-up for the SEC West and a possible spot in the play-off. Unfortunately, it didn’t, and LSU’s trip to The Grove is suddenly higher on the “Who Gives A Crap?” scale than we thought would be possible before LSU’s trip to Tuscaloosa, where they were promptly disassembled. So here are the non-conference games in order of crappiness. Many thanks to thesaurus.com for the

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