After being in the transfer portal, we’re baaaack!!!

Sorry for the radio silence. We weren’t renaming ourselves. Or firing people – because there’s one of us, and that’s me. It’s because I requested a transfer. Put myself in the transfer portal. And the wife and I have moved to the hot cooker of football – Texas. We’re in Houston, where the oil money flows like the water in the Bayou and the mosquitos are manic. It’s great because I can watch SEC games in the same time-zone, not sit there watching until 5am every morning like I have one in the UK. Our only problem has been the internet. AT&T sucks. But thanks to the next-door neighbors, we’re back. For half a season. But half a season’s better than

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The SEC is a megachurch, a denomination, and a religion

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm. Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose,

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The SEC needs a nine-game conference schedule

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules. The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine. Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.” Kirby Smart of

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Iron, Egg, Bourbon and Hate: SEC Rivalry Week Preview

Of all the rivalries in the SEC, the best name for a rivalry is the Georgia – Georgia Tech game: “Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate”. Nothing comes close. However, there are some badass hatred flowing through the SEC. Alabama and Auburn despise each other. Ole Miss and Mississippi State may be on a par with that….maybe worse. There’s no love lost between Clemson and South Carolina or Florida and Florida State. Tennessee – Vanderbilt always seems to pit the ‘Public School Hillbillies’ and the ‘Private School snobs’, and Louisville and Kentucky certainly aren’t fond of each other, even though the ‘Governor’s Cup’ makes it sound like a place where the fans drink sweet tea before the game, not ludicrous amounts of bourbon.

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NEWSFLASH: Alabama did NOT impress on Week 12

Breaking News: Alabama did not impress us on Week 12. At half-time of the game against Citadel in Tuscaloosa, with the much-less-than-the-reported-101,000 inside Bryant-Denny Stadium still sleepy, the game was tied 10-10. The Tide couldn’t deal with the triple-option, and the offense was poor to say the least. In the second half, Alabama adjusted themselves, scoring 40 to Citadel’s 7, and everything seemed good. I even posted on my Twitter that after Alabama’s putrid performance Clemson should be made No.1 if they comfortably beat Duke. And Clemson was awful in its first half against Duke before exploding for 45. Obviously, Clemson’s victory over an above-average Duke said counts for more than Alabama’s victory against a Citadel team, but the Play-Off

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Is every SEC team that’s not Alabama ordinary? Week 12 SEC Rankings

We didn’t want to admit it, but 85% (12 out of 14) of SEC teams are really, really ordinary. Some might be even worse than that. SEC fans will tell you that the ‘ordinariness’ isn’t in fact that, it’s the fact that ‘anyone can beat anyone on ANY GIVEN SATURDAY IN THE SEC’, and that’s what makes the SEC so great, and other conferences so suck-worthy. Of course, it’s the notion of ‘Every Given Saturday’ that makes college football so awesome, and not just the SEC. But in fact, the SEC, B1G and ACC have something in common: They all boast a team that hasn’t won an in-conference game all season (Arkansas, Louisville, Rutgers). And apart from Georgia and Alabama, everyone

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It’s Spurrier Bowl Time In The SEC: Week 11 Preview

Despite the SEC East and SEC West races being over, there is interesting stuff going on the SEC this week. There is Georgia vs Auburn, who really dislike each other. Then there’s Alabama vs Mississippi State, with Cowbell’s excellent defense. Then there Missouri trying to be bowl eligible, LSU trying to rebound against Arkansas and, er, something else in The Swamp, featuring the world’s most entertaining, quotable retired college coach. Fun fact: I met someone who said that the only reason why Spurrier came to South Carolina in the first place is that one of South Carolina’s biggest boosters, Augusta National head Hootie Johnson, could make him a member at August. I then met someone in about 2008 who actually

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Alabama feels unstoppable – Week 11 SEC Rankings

It was meant to be ‘The Game Of The Century’. It was No.1 Alabama, going to the most evil place alive….Baton Rouge. No.3 LSU was waiting, the crowd was off-the-hook…..and Alabama coasted to a 28-0 victory. Although LSU’s defense played mightily, the offense simply didn’t show up, struggling with Quinton Williams and Bama’s devilishly-effective pash rush, and Joe Burrow spent most of the game running for his life. On the other side of the ball, Tua was also running – but showed he was as happy making a throw off the run as anyone else in football. And when Bama’s running backs came into play, it was frightening. The thing about LSU is that they weren’t bad on Saturday. They

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Who will win the SECs ‘Games Of The Year’? Week 10 Preview

If you haven’t heard, there’s two pretty big games in the SEC this week. One’s in Death Valley, LSU, where the No.3 Tigers host hated No.1 Alabama. The atmosphere will be electric….and very drunk. The other – somewhat unexpectedly – is earlier in the day at Kroger Field, Lexington, Kentucky, where the No.9 Kentucky Wildcats host the No.6 Georgia Bulldogs. The winner of that game will win the SEC East, and keep its chances of a play-off place very alive indeed. The loser will not only lost in the East, but also not (probably) go into the play-offs. Anyway, here are our SEC Previews in order of interest. And it’s such a huge damned week for college football, we’re actually

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The SEC must sort out its officials

Awful. Terrible. Nope. Why in the hell did they call that? How could they not see that? Those are the words usually describing a refereeing crew in ALL team sports – especially if the team’s losing. Except over and over again, we’re hearing these words about SEC officials? Do they understand targeting? How was that clear? How did they miss that call?  Why did the official get in the way there?  How did they managed to screw that one up? Do they not know what a field goal is? (We’re serious: That happened during Georgia vs Missouri game at Farot Field this year). Here are some highlights of SEC stupidity. Devin White getting booted out for targeting against Mississippi State. Some

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