After Week 9: Still trying to work out the top of the SEC…

Even more annoying than Gary Danielson’s voice, the CBS break-f0r-advert music, and SEC’s non-understanding of the holding law on Saturday was trying to work out – some hours after the dust had settled – who in the hell was the best team in the SEC. LSU’s offense had been stymied by Auburn, but still did enough to win (if Auburn had had any offense, this article might be different). Alabama destroyed Arkansas…….but it was Arkansas. At the bottom, it’s easier. Arkansas is the bum of the division, and might well be one of the worst Power-5 teams in the country (CONFIDENT BET: They would beat Rutgers). I also went 4-1 straight-up this week, only missing out on Missouri’s abysmal performance against

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Week 8 Preview: Will we see any upsets this week?

On paper, this is the hangover to last week’s drunken hijinks in the SEC. We saw a big party at LSU, with the booze flowing early doors, College Gameday excitement, and parachutes before the Tigers played the Florida Gators in a bruising evening game match-up. LSU won, and everyone it seems celebrated. In Georgia, the hangovers were quite different, as hundreds of thousands of fans went from outlandish bark to tiny whine as their beloved team lost to the crowing Gamecocks of South Carolina, who left armed with some hedge branches and the biggest upset of the year so far. On the other end of the spectrum, the smell of a steaming turd of a season festers in the nostrils

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Week 7 Rankings: Has Georgia blown its Play-Off chance?

Today was a fun yet weird week for the SEC. The weird stuff happened at Sanford Stadium in Athens, Georgia, where the  No.3 Dawgs lost in double-overtime to a South Carolina side that was a 23-point underdog, but had also lost to Alabama, Missouri and, er, North Carolina. In Baton Rouge, LSU beat Florida 42-28 in an awesome game in the Bayou, with the Bayou Bengals surviving mostly by superior firepower on a night that featured parachutists coming down from heaven, a raucous crowd, College Gameday, and a lack of Gary Danielson. And on the other end of the spectrum, an awful UNLV team ran away from a terrible Vanderbilt side, Tennessee got its first SEC win of the season

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Week 7 Preview: Who’s going to win the LSU-Florida clash?

It’s Week 7 in the SEC, and things are suddenly getting interesting. On Saturday night we’ve got the battle of the unbeatens as Florida travels to LSU. College Gameday will be there. It’s a night game in Death Valley, and thank God, Gary Danielson will not be there. Earlier, Alabama will go to Kyle Field to play Texas A&M on the CBS 3.30 game, and Georgia hosts South Carolina to start the day. Otherwise, it’s Mississippi State going to Tennessee (12pm), the battle of the NCAA-sanctioned as Ole Miss travels to Missouri, and a game that no-one should subject anyone to watch as Arkansas travels to Kentucky. Oh, and UNLV travels to Vanderbilt.   To say the least, it’s cardiac

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Week 6 rankings: Gators chomp, Georgia rolls

Right, so we’ve been plunged into the deep end by Week 6 of the college football season. In the AP’s rankings, Alabama is No.1, followed by Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU and Oklahoma. Florida, Wisconsin, Notre Dame and Penn State fill out your Top 10. Auburn (12th) and Texas A&M (24th) are the other SEC teams on the list. So here are our power rankings for the SEC. This is less about ‘how they look’ and more about ‘who they’ve beaten’. Florida (6-0): Beat Auburn in a monstrously noisy atmosphere in The Swamp. It was like being back in Spurrier’s time again. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty (they turned the ball over 4 times), but the Gators’ defense is amazing. The LSU

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After being in the transfer portal, we’re baaaack!!!

Sorry for the radio silence. We weren’t renaming ourselves. Or firing people – because there’s one of us, and that’s me. It’s because I requested a transfer. Put myself in the transfer portal. And the wife and I have moved to the hot cooker of football – Texas. We’re in Houston, where the oil money flows like the water in the Bayou and the mosquitos are manic. It’s great because I can watch SEC games in the same time-zone, not sit there watching until 5am every morning like I have one in the UK. Our only problem has been the internet. AT&T sucks. But thanks to the next-door neighbors, we’re back. For half a season. But half a season’s better than

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The SEC is a megachurch, a denomination, and a religion

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm. Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose,

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The SEC needs a nine-game conference schedule

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules. The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine. Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.” Kirby Smart of

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The most Twitter-melting SEC moments before Twitter

I read a riveting tweet to Sports Illustrated’s Andy Staples which read: “What would be the most Twitter-melting CFB moments before Twitter was around?’ In other words, moments in college football history prior to March 2007, when Twitter exploded on the scene at South by Southwest (March 2007) I added a few things, which included the B.S. call against Miami in the National Championship Game of 2003 (NCBS), any of the FSU-Miami ‘Wide Rights’ (#WDR) and ‘Wide Lefts’ (#WDL), the Convicts vs Catholics (#ConvictCath), and – of course – Vince Young (#VY) running the ball in against USC in the 2006 National Championship Game (#VYvsUSC). I also wanted ALL of Barry Sanders’ highlights from the 1988 season (#Barry) because he

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Alabama OC Mike Locksley leaving for Maryland

Alabama offensive co-ordinator Mike Locksley is leaving to become the new head coach at Maryland. Locksley was given the Broyles Award earlier this week for being the country’s top assistant coach, helping the Crimson Tide to be one of the country’s best offensive teams. His crowning glory may well be on Saturday with Tua Tagovailoa is given the Heisman Award. “I am thrilled to be returning home and to have the opportunity to lead the Maryland Football program,” Locksley said in a statement. “This has always been a special place for me and my family, and I am honored to take on this role at the state’s flagship institution. Our goal is to create an atmosphere and environment focused on the

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