Week 7: Red River Time!

No.1 Texas (-14.5) v No.18 Oklahoma (Dallas): Texas is really talented, while Oklahoma will be the best defense they’ve faced so far this season. We will see how Texas’ running game does against a tight front that is Oklahoma’s. But Oklahoma will also be tested by the best QB they have this year in Quin Ewers, who’s going to start on Saturday after weeks out with injury. But Texas will probably cruise before OU’s offense is utterly vomitous- now not helped by the fact that it’s top WR Deion Burks is out for the game, on top of the other four on the trainer’s table.. Texas might be closed down by OU’s punter a little, therefore reducing the chances of a kerb-stomping. PREDICTION: Texas by 10

2. No.9 Ole Miss at No.13 LSU (-2.5): LSU just isn’t that good (lots of athletes, no defense to speak of, bad discipline, poor coaching), while Ole Miss overcame its laughable home loss against Kentucky with a very, very good performance against South Carolina. LSU won’t be beaten down (the fact that this is a night game will help this out), but this may be the result that the Tigers don’t make the Play-Off. Prediction: The natives in Baton Rouge are suddenly getting restless. Ole Miss by 5.

3.South Carolina at No. 7 Alabama (-21.5) : Alabama had an all-time, hilarious loss to Vanderbilt last week, but it may be that Carolina’s home loss to Ole Miss was worse. South Carolins was expected to give Ole Miss a game after the Rebels lost in hilarious fashion to Kentucky. However, they did. In fact, they were bloody awful. Prediction: Alabama’s going to come with a rage unbeknown. Alabama by 21.

4. Florida at No.8 Tennessee (-14): Tennessee was appalling against Arkansas. Florida has been pretty appalling all season long. The 11 point win over UCF didn’t cover the Gators in glory – particularly as the Gators scored a grand total of 0 points in the second half. On the other side, Nico and co had few ideas against a stifling Arkansas defense. Anyway, Tennessee’s going to have to pull its head out of its ass if it’s going to make a statement against Florida and please The Committee…and give them confidence before next weekend’s war against Bama. Prediction: Tennessee by 17

5. No.21 Missouri (-27) at UMass: Mizzou’s bad, y’all. The offensive line is bad, Brady Cook ain’t great, and they were suffocated against a Texas A&M defense. Oh, and the coaching is dogshit. Eli Drinkwitz seemed to tell all and sundry that they were preparing for Marcel Reed, and decided to play soft coverage against a weak QB in Conor Weigman. This won’t be close (UMass is bad), but still closer than the Mizzou fans would like. PREDICTION: Missouri by 28.

6. Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-13): We love Diego Pavia. We love the offense that’s beaten Alabama and got them into double overtime against Missouri. But Mark Stoops will be taking steps against New Mexico’s Johnny Manziel, and you can expect them to give him room to run…but not too much. Prediction: Kentucky will be fine, and win by 10.

7. Mississippi State at No.6 Georgia (-34.5): The o/u of the commentators mentioning that WR Cobie Young was arrested for battery and assault on an unborn child will be about the most interesting thing about this one. How are the media not putting more pressure on Kirby Smart to do something? We vomit. Prediction: Georgia 41, Mississippi State 6.

For the first time in a while, we’re going outside the conference to predict a game.

• No.2 Ohio State (-3.5) at No.3 Oregon: Needless to say, the atmosphere’s going to be off the hook. Ohio State’s got monsters all over the place. Oregon’s going to need everyone to get in the face of Will Howard, who’s probably the weak link of Ohio State’s offense. But then again, he might just hand the ball off to Treyveon Henderson and Quinshon Judkins and let them run. For Oregon, Dillon Gabriel’s so inconsistent it’s infuriating. And we do worry whether Oregon’s season of poor performances will get worse against this lot. Our Prediction: Ohio State by 3.