100 things that I love about College Football

Kevin Duffey of Saturday Down South wrote an amazing article about 100 things that he loved about college football, and I felt inspired.

So here’s a 100 things that I love about college football (including, of course, the SEC!). And this is no particular order.

1. That college football came back after it looked like COVID-19 would shut it all down.
2. College Gameday. That moment when it starts, and you get the ‘Welcome to….” and you take a deep breath and get excited, very quickly. At last, your Saturday is starting. Fox’s show is fine, but Gameday is Gameday.
3. Rivalry games. No.1 best rivalry title? “The Holy War” (Utah vs BYU), although ‘The Civil War’ and “Good, Ole Fashioned-Hate” comes close. “Red River Shoot-Out” and “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” round out your Top 5. Also gaining votes? “The Game” (Michigan vs Ohio State, Yale vs Harvard), “Iron Bowl”.
4. Crazy upsets. Still nothing comes close to the 2007 season.
5. Night games in football stadiums when it’s a big-time game, and the crowd’s fuelled with adrenaline and alcohol. There’s nothing like it.
6. The White Out at Penn State. One of the best atmospheres in any football stadium in the Country.
7. Live mascots. We see you, eagles, tigers, buffaloes, cows and bulldogs. My buddy once saw a UGA kicker aim shots at Mike The Tiger’s cage while warming up. Fun fact.
8. Laughing when a live mascot does something out of the ordinary. And then feeling bad about yourself for a little bit until you retweet it 20 times.
9. Fans jumping on the field after an upset win.
10. The Auburn woman getting stuck in a hedge after said upset win.
11. Iowa fans waving at the University of Iowa Children’s Hospital. Every time it happens, I want to cry. Loudly. And that’s OK.
12. That Gary Danielson is there so I can yell at my TV: “Shut up, Gary!” and then moan about him. CBS 2.30/3.30 games are soooo much easier to watch in a bar.
13. USC Song Girls. No explanation about these goddesses needed.
14. Nick Saban yelling at his team when the Crimson Tide are up 100-0 in the third quarter.
15. SEC, Texas, Ohio State fans when they lose. They are very angry people.
16. Recruiting battles.
17. Money battles over said recruits.
18. Team bans/suspensions after money battles over said recruits.
19. Wright Thompson making me think deeper about football. And life. He’s an Ole Miss-loving Mizzou grad, by the way.
20. Tom Rinaldi making me cry about football.
21. Mike Patrick and “What happened to Britney Spears?” in 2007, and all those other moments where you think about a game and the great commenters that happen, and how much they are missed.
22. Thinking about Michigan football, and thinking about the Appalachian State game every time I do.
23. Hedges. The SEC has some amazing hedges. Women can get stuck in them (see Auburn, 2019).
24. Neutral site games which are half-and-half with fansbases that deeply hate each other.
25. Going to the Red River Shoot-Out as a neutral, and knowing how Oklahoma and Texas deeply hate each other.
26. Having friends who go to the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party every year….and knowing how UF/UGA hate each other.
27. LSU fans and ‘Neck’.
28. LSU fans and tailgating. Makes bourbon at 9am an acceptable practice.
29. Bourbon at 9am being acceptable on Gameday.
30. The Grove.
31. Tailgating on campus, which starts pretty quiet and then gets mayhemic an hour before kick-off.
32. Jumping Around at Wisconsin.
33. Alabama coming onto ‘Thunderstruck’.
34. Miami emerging from the smoke.
35. ‘2001’ at South Carolina.
36. Baba O’Reilly at Georgia. Because The Who.
37. Checkerboard end zones at Tennessee.
38. Running Through The T.
39. Making fun of the Sooner Schooner when it topples over. And we’re not talking about the football team and the play-off.
40. Death Valleys. Clemson and LSU are great Death Valleys in terms of atmosphere and standards of football. The tailgate gives a bonus point to LSU, but the running down a hill gives a point to Clemson. So we’re even.
41. Making fun of Michigan.
42. Baylor freshmen students leading the team out. Unique and underrated.
43. Student sections themselves. A beautiful mixture of passion, chatting (mostly about the game, but also about the ‘afterparty’) and drunkenness.
44. Students doing student pranks on their biggest rival, that then become town problems. See Arizona vs Arizona State, where both sides take mean invention to new levels (But still below Harvard and Yale’s “We Suck”).
45. College Football overtime, because it’s better than NFL overtime. By some margin.
46. Late night Pac-12 After Dark game.
47. Wondering “What the **** is?” after seeing a team’s mascot or their nickname . Coastal Carolina’s Chanticleers are a perennnial winner for this. I never knew that a buckeye was a nut before getting into college football, and lions do not exist on Mount Nittany.
48. The Oregon Duck.
49. Cheers for a first down. Except Ole Miss’ ‘new cheer’, which comes with a shark motion. That sucks.
50. Actually going to an Arizona State game, and working out why recruits come to Arizona State. Clue: It’s not about football.
51. Some of the catches wide receivers make, and you yelling: “HOLY SHIT!” loudly. NFL players are MEANT to do this, college football players are amazing.
52. Ed Orgeron and ‘Go Tigahs”
53. The fact that I need subtitles to understand Ed Orgeron.
54. Cowboy boots on fans.
55. Texas being back.
56. Texas not being back.
57. Notre Dame. A series of football traditions like no other….including being overrated.
58. The 12th Man at Texas A&M, who cheer on their team despite them being consistently average.
59. The line: “No-one comes into…….” and then the inevitable happens, when a team comes into [Add stadium here] and promptly beats them. Clemson’s home winning streak is 22, UCF’s is 21, and Ohio State’s is 20.
60. Grambling vs Southern’s marching band.
61. Gaining knowledge from people who were in marching bands how much work it takes to make a marching band as good as they are (Note: Respect).
62. Watching the NFL and knowing how good these people were in college.
63. And telling non-college football-loving NFL fans how good these people were in college, and telling them “WHY DON’T I PICK YOUR DAMNED FANTASY TEAM” when your rookie kicks ass and your buddy didn’t take him (I had this with Nick Chubb and Cleveland. My buddy’s stupid move cost him $100 in his fantasy football pool)).
64. Watching a game that’s meaningless apart from the fact that you put $10 on the ‘over’.
65. Still watching the game when the ‘over’ went in the third quarter, because it’s college football.
66. Everyone being a betting expert when it comes to games.
67. Clanga. Clanga. Clanga.
68. Players singing the school anthem after the game. Even when their team has lost by 50.
69. The bands that play on and the cheerleaders that still cheer even when the team is getting beaten by 50. It’s oddly endearing.
70. Army vs Navy. Just because.
71. Finding out that there’s a clear river that runs through Texas State’s campus. It’s college football where you find out this stuff.
72. Yelling at the student in the Dr Pepper half-time match-up NOT TO THROW OVERHAND.
73. Going for it on 4th-and-1 with the game on the line.
74. Big 12 mayhem.
75. The high-octane offenses….
76. And piss-poor defense that cause Big 12 mayhem.
77. Mike Leach’s press conferences, in which you wonder what planet he’s on….yet find them eternally more interesting than the one where a certain successful Southeastern Conference head coach bullies the press one minute, and thanks them the next.
78. The lack of cordiality between Big Ten fans. They aren’t cordial. Remotely cordial.
79. The sniping of SEC fans.
80. Big 12 fans all hating Texas.
81. Texas hating itself when it all goes wrong (We’re talking all Texas teams here).
82. The fact that we spend $150 sitting on uncomfortable benches and are good with it. Because we love it.
83. Drunk Co-eds screaming ‘WE’RE NO.1″ when they quite obviously aren’t.
84. Memes of sad, drunk Co-eds when the obvious comes true.
85. Florida State fans reading books.
86. Colored pants. Very important at the tailgate.
87. Dumb headwear.
88. Making jokes about any university or famous university grad and connecting it to college football.
89. The guarantee that Les Miles will do something absolutely stupid every week.
90. Bad clock management from coaches like Les Miles. Who are paid millions of dollars to NEVER LEARN.
91. Coaches dancing in the locker room after a big win. Mack Brown, you have moves.
92. Rowing the boat, Minnesota style.
93. Turnover chains, chainsaws, cloaks, paddles….and trash cans. All we are missing are a dildo and a bong.
94. Trophies. Trophies between teams at all college football games should be mandated, and some changed. The ultra-boring ‘Governor’s Cup’ given out to the winner of Arizona State/Arizona should instead be given a giant bronze book. It will be the only book that any Arizona/ASU kids have ever seen, and it will have a ‘Wow’ factor (None of the kids actually saw one during high school and STILL got into ASU and Arizona). Cal/Stanford should have a diamond-plated iPad (‘The Tech Bowl’), and Colorado/Colorado State should have a giant bong (‘The Weed Bowl’).
95. Getting wound up about games that finished some years ago, because college football is only a few months during the year and things are worth yelling about.
96. Offering God your first born IF HE WOULD JUST DELIVER A WIN AGAINST YOUR MOST HATED RIVAL.
97. Hating God when he doesn’t deliver, and swearing you’ll never talk to Him again.
98. Getting texts from your pastor who’s agreed with you about No. 95 and  No. 96, but won’t tell if you don’t tell.
99. High-fiving your section when your team does something good. And keeping on doing that because SUPERSTITION.
100. College Football being – and always being – my Saturday escape.