LSU, Auburn, Ole Miss impress, Saban doesn’t in Week 1 of the SEC season

LSU’s roasting of No.8 Miami, Auburn’s victory in a war against Washington, and Alabama’s brutal dismantling of Louisville (not to mention their coach’s brutal dismantling of an ESPN reporter) were all the most impressive things of Week 1. Tennessee was the only team in the SEC that lost – although that was helped by some ‘superb’ scheduling by ADs everywhere (yeah, the South Carolina vs Coastal Carolina game was always going to be a barnburner).

I’d like to note that for games 9-14 I was scrambling for reasons why I would be impressed. Hence why Tennessee’s so high. 

Anyway, which SEC team impressed the most on Week 1 of the CFB season?

1. LSU (1-0): The 33-17 dismantling of Miami was very impressive indeed. LSU fans saw their first competent QB in some years. The team has a RB in Nick Brossette who could reap the rewards of bench-sitting for 3 years. And the defense – which caused 2 turnovers and scored a TD – is pretty damned lively, too. Sure, it was helped by a Miami side who couldn’t stop getting penalties (11 of them for 85 yards), but this was a very good performance. Is Coach O off the hotseat now? No, but his Cajun butt just cooled a lot.
2. Auburn (1-0): The 21-16 Battle Royale at Atlanta broke Auburn’s ‘curse’ in the ATL, but this was a back-and-forth war that didn’t let up on the excitement from start to finish. Both sides got to the quarterbacks, but it was Auburn’s red-zone offense that came out victorious when it mattered. But for Tigers fans, this schedule barely lets up: The Tigers still have 4 monster game left in the next 11.
3. Ole Miss (1-o): They say that the most dangerous teams are those playing for nothing, and Ole Miss – thanks to its self-imposed bowl ban – is one of those teams. But if you’re a DC, good luck in trying to work out how to stop the best receiving corps in the nation that is as deep as it is good (DaMarkus Lodge, AJ Brown and DK Metcalf, Braylon Sanders). Jordan Ta’amu’s not a bad QB either. And although people might bitch and moan about Texas Tech’s defense, you gotta give this offense some credit. And the ‘D’ showed up, giving up just 10 second-half points.
4. Alabama (1-0): Alabama’s destruction of Louisville was what everyone expected. Alabama looks quicker than every team in college football. The receivers aren’t missing a beat since Calvin Ridley left. The defense is dominating and fast. Oh, and Tua’s one hell of a quarterback (see you later, Jalen!). As much as people might hate Nick Saban, he’s one hell of a coach. This team is formidable, folks.
5. Vanderbilt (1-0): This was always going to be a difficult game against MTSU with Vandy just 4.5 point favourites at gametime, but the Commodores came through to rout their opponents 35-7. Kyle Shurmur’s a good QB, but we’ll have to see how they stack up against the SEC opponents before taking Derek Mason off our hot seat just yet.
6. Arkansas (1-0): It was interesting to see how Arkansas might click after Bret Bielema’s firing, but they did just fine, beating Eastern Illinois 55-20 (they were up 38-6 at the half). On the evidence of Saturday, Ty Storey (who threw for 3 TDs) isn’t going to be a bad QB either.
7. Kentucky (1-0): After a poor first half, Benny Snell and the Wildcats came through to beat Central Michigan 35-20, with Benny Snell running for 125 yards and 2 TDs. But the killer for the Wildcats could have been turnovers- they committed four of them against a not-meant-to-be-great Central Michigan team. If they do that against Florida in The Swamp, Mark Stoops is going to continue that great Kentucky tradition of getting beaten by the Gators. So why are they this far up the list? Because at least UK played someone relatively OK.
8. Tennessee (0-1): The Volunteers shouldn’t be this high on the list by a lot of people’s standards, but I come with this: The game was 13-7 at half-time. Things unravelled after the long time-delay after that, but Tennessee at least showed some gumption.
9. South Carolina (1-0): Deebo Samuel’s highlight reel catch is the only reason why the Gamecocks are even this far up the list.
10. Texas A&M (1-0): I predicted A&M would beat Northwestern State by 52. I was right. I’m going to mention this a lot this year.
11. Florida (1-0): We haven’t really heard of Charleston Southern, but at least the Gators’ offense looked OK. You know, against Charleston Southern.
12. Georgia (1-0): Hammered Austin Peay and kept the shut-out. Yawn.
13. Missouri (1-0): Hammered UT-Martin, and Drew Lock looked good. Yawn.
14. Mississippi State (1-0): Great for a team missing its starting QB by tuning up against Stephen F. Austin. And boy, did they tune up Stephen F. Austin.
15. Nick Saban: Being straight-up rude to a reporter after your team has dismantled their opponent isn’t a good look. Bullies don’t like being questioned about things, and so when Maria Taylor asked him about the QB farce that he’d helped cause (and keep Jalen Hurts from transferring which in turn will probably ruin the rest of Hurts’ college career), he exploded.